Joystick 

I used to have a girl… or so I remember 
Until the day on the 10th of November 
Picked up a game, then I stopped calling 
Came over to my place and she wouldn’t stop bawling 
And I was like, “Oh… Hey” 
She was like, “… That’s all you have to say? 
I waited for hours, you never showed up 
And my family’s in town” I was like, “So… what… 
Come on girl, I had a clan war” 
She’s like, “This game… I won’t stand for” 
I said, “Dang, I hope you’ll reconsider” 
Started spewing tons of promises I knew I won’t deliver 
She said she’d stick around, there’s one stipulation 
“Throw away the game, with no hesitation” 
She said, “If you don’t, I really will leave” 
I’m like, “Sorry, baby, I just Prestiged” 

Well… I guess it’s me and my joystick 
My girl left, so I’ll play with my joystick 
Got no work, so I’ll play with my joystick 
Got no friends, so it’s me and my joystick 
Well… I guess it’s me and my joystick 
My girl left, so I’ll play with my joystick 
No work, so I’ll play with my joystick 
Got no friends, so it’s me and my joystick 

I used to have a job… I vaguely recall 
Back in the days that I battled with Thrall 
Used to show up to work, couldn’t wait to sign in 
Always on the clock, turned my daily line in 
I’d neglect assignments… Never hide it 
Heroic dungeon crawl, could wait to fight it 
And dive in, now, I’m dead-set on 
Finishing my dailies, had my headset… on 
I’m shit talking my whole noob group 
A ninja from the other day stole my loot 
And I’m trying to get busy and my boss walks in 
And says he “better not find my ass clocked in” 
I’m like “Oooh… I guess I’m in trouble then” 
He’s so mad, his blood starts a bubbling 
“You play games and try to get paid…” 
I’m like, “Yo, let’s talk later, trying to raid” 

Well… I guess it’s me and my joystick 
My girl left, so I’ll play with my joystick 
No work, guess I’ll play with my joystick 
Got no friends, just me and my joystick 
Well… I guess it’s me and my joystick 
My girl left, so I’ll play with my joystick 
There’s no work, gonna play with my joystick 
Got no friends, guess it’s me and my joystick 

I used to have friends… back in the 64 days 
Looking back now kind of feels like the Stone Age 
Just kids… cartridge in hand 
Sunday afternoon, all the carnage was planned 
Back then it was a Goldeneye tourney 
Prox mine whore, leave they ass on a gurney 
I got double kill, you got frantic 
You got lemmings… Ha… F******
He said, “Man, fuck you, ass-cock 
I’m so mothafucking sick of your trash talk 
I got eight… You only got twelve” 
I said, “It’s hard for me when you kill yourself 
Hey bitch… You ever heard of a ratio? 
I can’t hear you while you’re giving me fellatio” 
He said, “Fuck you” and got up to leave 
So I told him there’s a cliff down the street… (Haha) 

Well… I guess it’s me and my joystick 
My girl left, so I’ll play with my joystick 
Got no work, gonna play with my joystick 
Got no friends, so it’s me and my joystick 
Well… I guess it’s me and my joystick 
My girl left, so I’ll play with my joystick 
No work, I’ll play with my joystick 
Got no friends, guess it’s me and my joystick 
Yup… It’s still me and my joystick 
My girl gone, so I’ll play with my joystick 
All alone, so I’ll play with my joystick 
I can’t believe I’m still playing with my joystick 
Ha… It’s just me and my joystick 
My girl left, so I’ll play with my joystick 
Got no work, yeah, I’ll play with my joystick 
It’s kind of sad that I’m playing with my joystick 

Haha… Yeah… Awkward