[Verse 1: Dr. Awkward]
I'm looking to match wits with
Someone with plans, yet still gon' get your ass kicked
I'm searching for that man
I need one to be the Joker to my Batman
Tell me are you clever and cool?
Do you want to force the world up under your rule?
Are you at least 5'8?
It's rather specific but this I can't break
About me, I'm humanity's savior
Vanilla ice cream is my favorite flavor
And I work a 9 to 5
So I'd like to fight crime from like 6-9
Are you evil? Tell me, how's your laugh?
I'm seeking someone with a troubled past
"Destroy the world" is all you desire
And it's pic for pic, no face then no reply
[Hook: Dr. Awkward] (x2)
Dear Craigslist, seeking mortal foe. Have
Secret identity that nobody can know
Secret supervillain with a fire within
I'm now hiring, inquire within
[Verse 2: Schaffer the Darklord]
Hey there, I saw your ad is that position filled yet?
If not, please consider me and my specific skill set
Eager, self-starter, diabolical, scary mad
I'm the type of man you're looking for - Very Bad
Verbose, sociopathic, yeah I'm a sexy brute
Just under six feet, just over in my exo-suit
You should see my island lair, it's kind of a holy place
Collection of bloody capes, displayed in a trophy case
Tell me, do you roll with a team or only solo so far?
You've got a sidekick? Cool I've got a crowbar
And a masters in murder with a minor in killing
My favorite sound's a tie between exploding buildings and crying children
Weaknesses? Hmm.. I guess it's hand to hand combat
But my henchmen will handle that end of the contract
I look forward to this, hit me up if we're a match
P.S. Hahaha! How's that? Pics and references attached
[Verse 3: Dr. Awkward]
Dear Mr. Darklord, thank you for your interest
I was ecstatic when I read about your henchmen
You've got plenty of fight alone, I trust
Referenced a funeral home, that was a nice touch
Honestly sir, I'd love to meet
Maybe we can get together for a bite to eat
I know a wonderful place, it would be my treat
And we can finish out the night with a little bit of JUSTICE